Black Rose
by bleedfordavey
Summary: Cas is still in the asylum…Dean is almost to a breaking point…Sam is in recovery mode…in this time of crisis everyone seems to be getting closer. Not quite sure yet where I am going with this story so bare with me. Dean/Cas This is my first fanfic so be nice.
1. intro

Black Rose

Cas is still in the asylum…Dean is almost to a breaking point…Sam is in recovery mode…in this time of crisis everyone seems to be getting closer. Not quite sure yet where I am going with this story so bare with me.(= (Dean/Cas)

Introduction:

Dean couldn't stand the pain of watching his brother toss and turn in the cold, and old motel room so he decided to go visit Cas. He grabbed his jacket as he stepped to the side of the bed placing a short, sweet kiss onto Sam's head. Making sure he had all he needed and left a note for Sam he headed out into the dark night ready to escape for a little drive with his thoughts and baby. The night air smelled of fresh rain and Dean rode with all the windows down breathing as if he'd never taken a breath before. He reached the hospital where they were holding Cas in an hour or so. Sighing he turned the car off. Pinching the bridge of his nose to stop the emotion that seemed to be overflowing in his veins. He heard the car give a slight groan as he got out and shut the door. The walk to the hospital door seemed long as he heard every foot step hit the ground. He reached the door, looking up to see Meg's face in a smirk. "You sure have a habit of coming at the most per curler times, Dean." "Shut up Meg!" Dean snapped. She took him to Cas's room and left.

There he was draped in white cotton. The angel who countless times saved his bacon. A single tear escaped the tightness of Dean's eye he quickly wiped it away. He sat quietly in the chair beside Cas's bed watching as Cas's chest rose and fell. He knew that Cas was finally resting, knowing he didn't really need it Dean still wouldn't dare disturb him. Even though he knew Cas's condition hadn't really gotten any better, there was a peace in the room he just couldn't understand. Dean's exhaustion had finally caught up to him and he let himself slip into a light slumber.


	2. Chapter 1

I know this is rather short but I am getting there…building the ground work ya know. Enjoy!(=

Chapter 1

Dean woke to the sound of Meg slamming Cas's food tray down on the table. "Morning sunshine!" she yelled. He seriously wanted to punch her in the face but she was gone before he could get that far. He felt the eyes of someone watching him and turned to see Cas upright in bed staring. "Dean what are you doing here?" he asked. "I came to visit you, are you with me or is Lucifer bouncing around right now?" Dean asked. Cas gave a quick glance around and said "No, the visions are gone for now." Dean took a deep breath and asked with wavering emotion "How ya doin Cas?" A small smile crept over Cas's lips as he said "I am fine Dean, aside from the occasional visit from Lucifer. Why, are you worried about me?" Dean coughed "No…just wondering." They continued to talk for about an hour or so and then Dean decided he should get back to check on Sam. He stood up and stretched catching Cas's eye. "You are leaving now aren't you?" Disappointment flooding his words. "Yea, I gotta go check on Sammy and see if we can find something to get you back to your old self again." He replied. "When will you come back?" he asked as his blue eyes melted the strength Dean was holding on to. "Soon Castiel…very soon."Dean said as he looked one last time into those ocean eyes.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Dean found the motel room empty when he arrived. He found a note on the fridge

Hey Dean,

Walked to the store needed to escape the silence for a while

Will be back soon

Sammy

Dean grabbed a beer and plopped on the bed. He was glad that Sammy wasn't around he felt like he needed to clear his head. He thought of Cas and his heart gave a slight ping. He was having trouble exactly classifying what he felt for Cas. "I am NOT gay!" he suddenly yelled. Laughing after realizing he had said it out loud. Not that Dean had anything against someone who was gay; he had just always been attracted that way to women. Although he still wasn't exactly sure he was attracted that way to Cas. He never thought of kissing him or anything like that. It was a feeling he never felt before something more than booty calls, it was a sense of admiration, pride, and happiness.

Dean heard the lock slid into place as Sammy's bright face emerged from behind the door. His arms full with groceries.

Placing the bags on the table he said "Hi Dean how is Cas?" Dean gave a slight smile as he replied "Eh…he is a bit clearer now actually got to speak with him for an hour or so without Lucifer butting in." Sammy smiled and said "That's great." Dean walked over to see what Sam had bought. "Damn Sammy it's all rabbit food." Dean said. Sammy smiled as he handed a round plastic dish towards him. Dean's eyes lit up as he said "PIE!" He thanked Sammy as he grabbed a fork and sat on the bed.

Sammy smiled wondering why he loved his asshole brother so much. He then started to put the groceries away by the time he was done Dean appeared with an empty pie dish and a smile that lit up the room. He grabbed Sam into a tight hug, surprised at first, but then Sam hugged back with as much force as he could muster. Dean told Sam he was exhausted and was going to take a nap. So there he was left with his thoughts which scared him. He thought about dying a lot. His mind seemed to be a dangerous area that was under construction. His visions of Lucifer had been more damaging then he thought. His finger absent mindedly traced the scar on his hand reminding him that this was real. That Dean curled up in a ball and snoring was real. He felt scared most times but knowing Dean was there and that he would always be there gave Sam a sense of protection. He was extremely tired but knew he wouldn't sleep. Sense returning from the asylum he hadn't slept more than 3 to 4 hours a night. He had nightmares about losing Dean, about Cas suffering and Lucifer returning to haunt his head. Luckily, he didn't think Dean had noticed which he was grateful for considering how stressed and tense his brother appeared to be. Although seeing Cas had put him in a good mood for the time being and that was more than Sammy could have asked for.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Dean woke to the first light of the next day wondering how long he had actually slept. He turned to look at the clock it was 6am. He moaned and then rolled back over cuddling the pillow. Then he noticed that Sam wasn't in his bed. "Sammy?" Dean yelled. There was no reply. Grabbing the knife from under his pillow he slowly moved around the room. As he was walking past the window he saw Sam sitting in the Impala crying. He put his pants on tucking the knife in his back pocket. He made his way to the car "Sammy, are you alright?" Dean asked worriedly. "Huh…oh Dean yea I am ok." Sammy said through tears. Dean opened the car door and grabbed Sam into a hug. Sam although wishing his brother hadn't found him this way he was grateful for the hug. "Come on Sammy, let's go inside and talk." Dean said while helping Sam out of the car. Dean helped Sam to the bed never letting him go and sitting so close to him he was almost on his lap. Dean looked into his tear stained eyes and his insides turned to mush. He didn't have many weaknesses but he knew his brother was his biggest. Holding Sam Dean asked "What's going on Sammy?" "Dean you are under so much stress I don't want you to worry about me." He said. "If you don't tell me Sammy that will make me worry more." Dean said. "Ok…well I've been having these nightmares some of them are old like about Jess, and some are fresh with Lucifer and Cas in them. The most disturbing ones are about you. I can't sleep more than 3 to 4 hours a night. I am just so afraid I am going to lose you. Everything feels uneasy, surreal now." Sam managed to choke out. Dean had never seen his brother this distraught before, he was unsure what to do. So he held his brother let him cry until he couldn't cry anymore.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Sam had cried himself asleep. Dean just laid there holding his brother, listening to the rise and fall of his content breathing. Dean sighed in relief finally his brother would get some rest. He didn't dare move from his position on the bed he wanted Sammy to know that he was there and that he wouldn't let anything hurt him. Like clockwork Sammy began to stir 4 hours later. Dean had never been awake to see what effect his brother's nightmares had on him. It was horrible, he watched Sam twist and scream. This lasted for maybe a minute then Dean had to shake his brother awake. He wiped the tears from Sammy's eyes. Sammy borrowed his face into Dean's chest mostly to cover up his shame. He felt so stupid falling apart in the arms of his brother. Dean never dealt with emotions very well, it always seemed awkward and unnatural to him. So he just held Sam until his shoulders stop shaking. "Sammy these are just dreams, you know that come literally hell or high water I will always be here…I think I've proven that already." Dean said. Looking up into Dean's eyes he said "We've lost so much Dean, I can't bare to lose anything else." "I know Sammy it's hard for me too. What scares me the most is the fact that I am still holding it together, but I know when I break I don't know if I will ever recover. Let's just leave this for now, everything is fine and I am here." Dean said. With that the room went quiet and they both laid there with pain, regret and hatred swimming though there veins. Dean was still trying to understand his feelings for Cas, could he be in love with this angel. He wouldn't dare mention this to Sam; he wasn't sure how he would react. Dean closed his eyes smoothing out the wrinkles on his brow. Yawning Sam said "Whatcha thinking about?" Absent mindedly Dean let the word "Cas" escape his lips. Sam eyeballed Dean; there was something different when he said Cas's name. Sam saw some kind of emotion behind those eyes but he wasn't sure what it was. He had only seen that emotion from Dean once and that was with Lisa. Dean couldn't be in love with Cas not like that could he?


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5-Particular Fondness

Things were slowly getting back to normal well as normal as Dean and Sam's life was. Bobby had informed them of a few easy jobs in the area.

They would head out hunt and then head back towards the hospital Cas stayed at. Sam noticed his brother would never take to many jobs to far away wanting to be as close to Cas as possible. After a month of this behavior Sam decided to confront Dean about his particular fondness for Cas.

"Hey Dean…can we talk?" Sam asked. "What's up Sammy?" Dean asked through bites of hamburger. "You know we should really be hunting those Leviathans out there, Bobby's been keeping tabs on it for us. I've noticed you don't seem to want to pursue anything past the state line though. Can you tell me why? Sam explained. Sammy knew damn well the answer but he wanted Dean to actually open up for once. "Sam…you know why." Dean grumbled. "Dean tell me what's really going on with you and Cas." Dean took a deep breath could he really tell his brother this.

He didn't even know what it was between him and Cas. He had no words to explain what he felt and with Cas's condition how could he even know if Cas felt anything. "Sam…I don't know how to explain this can't you just leave it alone?" Dean asked. "Why do you do that Dean…when you don't want to deal with it you just push it aside? If you keep doing that you are gonna explode on someone someday. Sam said with that serious look in his eyes.

"Look Sam I promise I will tell you everything until my face is drenched in freakin tears but just not right now. Don't I have to know what the hell I am feeling before I can share them Dr. Phil?" Dean replied. Sam smiled "Ok Dean but this isn't over, you will talk to me." "Yea yea my brother the stubborn bitch." Dean teased. "Well you're a stubborn jerk." Sam said through laughter. Dean laughed to and knew that Sam would be satisfied for the moment.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6-Dean's Heartache

It was another beautiful day in Indiana. Dean and Sam had been working nonstop and Dean really wanted to see Cas so they decided to take a day off. Sammy woke to the sound of Dean getting dressed; he looked like a little giddy school girl.

"Going to see Cas?" Sam asked smiling. "How did you know?" Dean asked. "I can see it all over your face haha." Sammy said while laughing. "Shut up!" Dean grumbled. "Yea yea…someone loves an angel around here and it's not me." Sam teased. "Don't make me kick your ass…I'll be back later." Dean said as he closed the door. Sammy chuckled and settled in for a lazy day in bed. Dean made it to the hospital in record time and was surprised at his excitement. He really did miss Cas.

He didn't call before hand because he wanted to surprise Cas. He entered the hospital whistling the whole way to Cas's room, but stopped dead when he saw the scene before him. There she was that vile creature kissing his angel's lips. He didn't know what to do his heart literally stopped. As confusion and jealousy clouded his brain Cas pushed Meg away.

"Dean?" Cas asked with his marvelous voice. Dean couldn't answer he was destroyed all the muscle in his body were screaming run. He tried to collect himself but his anger was swelling. He grabbed Meg by the hair and threw her across the room. Being surprised she couldn't stop him and ended up unconscious on the floor.

Cas's eyes were wide and questioning. How could Dean explain his actions would he be stupid enough to give in to the feelings that he so dearly held tight. "Cas…I…should go." Dean replied with complete despair in his voice. "Wait…Dean won't you stay for a little while…it's been so long since I've seen you." Cas said. "Cas…I can't…I am not in the right state of mind to sit and talk. It's complicated and I don't know how to tell you how I feel." Dean said letting a single tear escape. Cas noticed of course, he might have been insane at the moment but he wasn't blind. "Dean…did I do something wrong? Is there something you want to tell me?" He asked. His ocean eyes were ripping right through Dean. "I can't…bye Cas" Dean turned to leave. Cas ran to him and grabbed him into a hug.

The sweetest embrace Dean had ever known, he could feel his eyes pooling with tears he had to escape. Letting Cas go Dean took one last look into those fantastic blue eyes and left. Dean made it to his car before he let the tears flow. He was finally breaking, he couldn't take it. He was defeated, how could he have thought that Cas felt the same for him. He turned the key and began to drive…him and his baby all he really needed.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7-Release

Dean had been gone for three days and Sammy of course was worried. He had called the hospital after trying Dean's cell several times. Meg was nice enough to let Cas talk. Cas had told him about the incident along with the fact that he was concerned as well. Sammy's heart dropped after hearing the news, he knew how Dean would take this despite the fact that Dean refused to tell him what he felt for Cas. Sam knew; he was his brother after all.

He decided to call Bobby and to his surprise Dean answered. "Hello" Dean answered. "Dean…is that you, I've been worried about you." Sammy said. "Hey, Sammy I am sorry I've just had a lot on my mind I was gonna call you." Dean replied. "Yea I heard what happened. Are you ok?" Sammy asked concerned. "Sam…honestly no I am not, but I will be." Dean said. "Ok…I am getting my stuff together and gonna head down there." Sam said. "Yea…ok Sammy…just don't expect some mushy crap when you get here." Dean said. "Yea yea…I'll just get you drunk and you will spill. Haha…I'll see you in a bit. Love ya." Sam replied. Dean loved his brother but damn he always makes him get all emotional and girly.

Dean was already halfway through a bottle of whiskey when Sammy called. Bobby pretty much left him alone, he knew something was wrong but wouldn't dare ask. Bobby was cool like that he knew that once Dean was ready to talk he would. It was a rather beautiful day, a slight wind and big white puffy clouds in the sky. Dean marveled at the sheer beauty of it. It had been a while since he had actually taken in his surroundings. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He knew that he was gonna have to tackle the lump building in his throat, preferably before Sammy got there.

The first thing that came to mind was Meg's lips on Cas's. Dean shook with anger, how could Cas…Dean couldn't stop the tears now. Everything was flooding in now…the wall that was broken that made Sammy crazy. He could feel it all now, seeing Sammy in the hospital, Cas causing the fall. Finally get Cas somewhat back and then he took the pain from Sammy. Now he has Sammy back and he is losing Cas again. On top of it all Cas has no idea what Dean feels, so there is no one to blame. Everything was heavy now Dean couldn't stop crying, finally he was letting go. He thought of all this and then that sweet, warm embrace from Cas, which made him cry even harder.

Sammy made it to Bobby's as quick as he could. As he pulled into that familiar place, he noticed Dean hunched over the workbench Bobby kept for Dean to use on the Impala. Dean was holding an empty whiskey bottle and his body was shaking furiously. Sammy ran to him having nothing to say he just grabbed his brother. Sammy held his brother, he needed to be the rock this time. He needed to be the one Dean could lean on this time. This was the release Sammy had waited for, he wanted to know Dean still felt human.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Losing hope/Realization

There they were collapsed on the ground, beer bottles littered all around them. Dean's eyes were swollen and puffy, along with Sammy's. Dean had stopped simply because he couldn't manage to shed anymore tears. The stars were ablaze in the sky and it made Dean tremble every time he looked up at them.

He felt a void inside something he knew only Cas could fill. He sat there in silence with Sam for what seemed like hours. He knew the questions would be coming soon, his brother would surely take advantage of his beer clouded mind.

Like clockwork "Dean, what is going on with you and Cas?" Sam asked. "Aww…Sammy I don't even know." Dean slurred. "Come on Dean, don't hold this in like you always do." Sam said. "It's hard to explain really…I just…I…love him. I've never been this close to someone.

It's not must about attraction as it is connection…I feel a bond with Cas that I've never felt with anyone ever. I've tried to ignore it, I've tried to fight it but I am so tired of this battle inside me. Sometimes I wish for the way we live to never end because I fear that when it's over Cas will be gone. Sammy…I just…feel complete when he's around. You are lucky my damn ass is drunk, you know I would never be telling you this shit sober." Dean clarified. "Dean, I already knew there was something there. I am your brother you jerk, I know you better than you think I do. I just wasn't aware of how intense your feelings were, how passionate you were about , it makes me happy to know that you can still feel love, still have that warmth inside you. For so long I thought I was going to lose you to the darkness." Sammy said smiling.

Dean sighed feeling relief wash over him, he really had no clue how Sammy was going to take this. "I guess it's over now though, he has Meg." Dean snarled. "Dean, he doesn't even know how you feel shouldn't you tell him before you just give up?" Sam tested. "I don't even know how to tell him, I don't even know if he will understand what I feel. It's a waste of time; maybe he could be happy with Meg. Dean said disappointedly. "Really Dean, a demon, no way…you and Cas have been through so much. You just have to man up and find the Dean way of telling him." Sam said. Dean smirked at his brother knowing he meant well but doubted that he would ever really be able to express how much he loved Cas.

He had paced all night waiting for some kind of news from Sammy. His heart was heavy with despair…he never wanted to hurt Dean.

Meg came in to check upon him. "Hey pretty boy, you alright?" she asked smartly. "No, I have to see Dean…why did you even kiss me Meg?" Cas requested. "You looked lonely and I've been here a while figured I could get some action out of it." Meg said through laughter. "This is all a game to you, I may have hurt someone very close to me and all you can do is laugh like it's nothing." Cas replied heatedly. "I would smite you down if I didn't need you to drive. Go get a car we are leaving damn it." With that Meg was gone, she wasn't sure if Cas could actually send her back to hell but she was to much of a coward to find out. Cas was feeling clear tonight, clearer then he had been for a while. He had to get to Dean, he felt like he needed it. His visions slowly were morphing from Lucifer to Zachariah and back again. The last few days were almost unbearable. Dean usually wasn't gone this long every two days or so he would be back to sit with him.

Unknowing to him those moments of the day were the ones he longed to stay in forever. Just him and Dean, no demons, no angels, and no distractions. Meg had returned helping Cas to the car. As inactive as Cas was he was still weak. After helping Cas, Meg sat waiting for instructions. Cas thought of were Dean would have gone to escape…Bobby's.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Feelings revealed

It was another lovely day at Bobby's, full of alcohol and relaxation. Dean wondered if this was the way it would've been if there were no monsters. He knew he had to get motivated, there were more things to hunt. He swore he would get back on track tomorrow; in the meantime he spent the day fixing up the Impala with Sam. It was nice to have the air clear between the both of them. He had missed the Sammy that was there smiling and laughing.

The day was fading now as the sun gave off that lazy reddish orange glow, Sam decided to head in so Dean was alone rocking out while putting his tools away. He didn't notice Cas until he was right behind him. "C..C..as what are you doing here?" Dean said as his heart went into his throat. "I needed to see you; I needed to know you were ok. You seemed so upset the other day and then I hadn't heard from you so I was worried." Cas responded. "You were worried about me?" Dean questioned in awe. "Of course Dean, I missed you too. It gets desperately lonely for me, it always helps when your there with me." Cas answered. "Cas I am to hammered for this, but I've got to tell you something." Dean stuttered. Dean took a deep breath and looked up into those brilliant eyes as they looked at him so intensely waiting. "Cas…I…uh I love you. I am in love with you." Dean swallowed hard awaiting Cas's reaction.

Cas stood there in shock, but then to Dean's surprise there he was again in his angel's protective arms. No words had to be spoken, Dean knew Cas loved him. Cas lifted Dean's face and in an instant their lips were one. It was the sweetest kiss Dean had ever encountered, he would remember this forever.

Afterwards, they sat on the ground Dean wrapped in Cas's arms trench coat draped over the both of them. "Cas I was so afraid you wouldn't understand." Dean whispered. "Dean I've learned enough about emotions since I've been here and I've always had a strong fondness for you. I never could really express what I felt because I've never felt this, but I knew exactly what it was when I saw the disappointment in your eyes when you saw Meg. Which by the way she kissed me, I never ever wanted to kiss her." Cas expressed. "I realize that now haha…I sure did want to kick Meg's ass though." Dean said through laughter. Cas smiled, he felt as if his puzzle pieces were starting to come back together.

"Hey Cas we should head up to the house, I am exhausted." Dean yawned. "Ok, where am I gonna sleep?" Cas asked. "Well…with me silly." Dean chuckled.

Cas smiled as they walked hand in hand up to the house. Dean pushed away all the negative thoughts in his brain. In this moment he felt more alive, and more complete then he ever did.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

A Taste of Angel

Dean didn't get much sleep that night he kept rolling over making sure Cas was still there, making sure this was real. He wasn't sure what this was and he didn't want to waste time with labels, he just knew that he was happy with Cas being there. He watched as Cas's chest rose and fell and realized that angels could actually sleep. About five minutes later a smile crossed Cas's face as he said "Dean stop staring at me." Dean blushed as he said "Uh…I'm not." Cas opened his eyes as he playfully smacked Dean in the arm.

"You should be sleeping. You look exhausted." Cas said with worry in his eyes. "I got my allotted amount of sleep haha." Dean said chuckling. "You don't sleep much do you?" Cas asked. "Nah…a couple hours suits me. I can't turn my brain off." Dean answered. "What about you Cas?" Dean asked. "Well I don't need to sleep but I have the capability. Most times my sleep consists of just closing my eyes because none of my senses ever dull…hence why I knew you were staring at me." Cas said chuckling. Dean laughed and smiled back. "Well…it's too early so come over here." Cas demanded. Dean hesitated for a moment but complied and moved into the comfort of Cas's embrace. They laid together for a good while just enjoying each other's presence. Dean was surprised at how comfortable it was to be around Cas. A small knock on the door brought him back to reality. Shit he thought what if it was Bobby; he hadn't really known how to tell him about Cas. He jumped out of Cas's arms and headed to the door. He opened it to find Sammy on the other side with a tray full of food and a big stupid grin on his face. Dean couldn't help but smile at him. Dean let Sam in and helped with placing the food down.

"Hiya, Cas" Sammy said. Cas smiled and replied "Hi Sam." Dean could tell Cas was unsure of the situation so he winked at Cas. Cas slowly relaxed and thanked Sam for the food even though he never intended on eating it. "Well…I'll leave you guys to it but I'll be back later we really need to start on this Leviathan business." Sam said as he left the room. Dean cringed remembering that there was yet another problem he would have to solve. He would give anything to just be able to stop and relax here with Cas. Dean sighed and began to devour the food Sammy brought. He watched Cas walk to the window, the sun glistening on his shirtless skin. Something had changed, Dean felt his heart swell, and he felt possessive. Cas was his…and he wanted him to be his.

Day slowly turned into night; all time seemed to fast forward. Dean was trying to grip on to whatever time he had left with Cas knowing soon he would have to face the world without him. Knowing that his mental stability was still kind of iffy Cas would have to go back to the hospital. They spent most of the day eating, laughing and drinking. Dean had yet to tell Bobby the situation so it was just friends hanging out. One last hurrah before the serious shit would hit the fan. Dean was well intoxicated when he finally decided to head to bed, of course his angel close behind. Between Dean and Cas they had out drink Bobby and Sam hours ago, Dean credited it mostly to Cas because of his super drinking powers. So there Dean was stumbling up the stairs, Cas closely behind laughing all the way. Dean collapsed into the doorway busting his nose.

Cas picked him up and in one swoop Dean was settled on the bed and his nose was completely healed. "Aww…Cas you are too good to me." Dean stuttered. "Haha…shut up Dean." Cas said as he began to remove his coat. There was an intense fever filling the room, a fever you can't sweat out. They were both unsure of how this was going to go but they were willing to find out. Dean closed his eyes as he felt Cas's lips collide with his. Their tongues crashing together fighting for dominance, Cas gave a good fight but in the end Dean had won. He grabbed his angel and pushed him roughly up against the wall. Cas gave a slight smile and moan on impact. Dean's mouth now on Cas's collar bone, biting, licking and teasing his hand buried in Cas's hair. Cas's let endless moans escape his lips and began bucking his hips. He was losing control and to his surprise he loved it. Cas's ran his hands down the length of Dean's torso, practically tearing the shirt off of him. Dean laughed "I never liked that shirt anyway". Cas continued touching, losing his mind at how gorgeous this man was before him. Dean began to emit animalistic groans as he brought his lips back to Cas's, biting, smashing lips together. Cas wanted to dominate now, he grabbed Dean and threw him on to the bed. The hunter grinned as Cas began to strip, his pale skin glistening in the moonlight shining from the window. It took Dean's breath away how beautiful his angel was. Soon Cas found Dean's lips again and began running his hands down until he found the opening to Dean's pants.

Dean moaned as Cas rubbed his penis, feeling the painful bulge in his pants as he did so. Dean was in sheer delight, Cas had removed his pants as well as his boxers, and was now taking him in his mouth. Dean almost lost it, right there and then. He sucked in breaths, as his whole body shuttered. Dean had to take control or this wouldn't last much longer. He brought Cas to the head of the bed taking no time to remove the rest of his clothing. Dean ran his fingers along the beauty before him and began pleasuring Cas. They both were painfully hard and Dean knew release had to come soon. He looked up into those bright blue eyes "Cas, I love you. Are you ready for this?" Dean asked. "Dean, I love you and I trust you." Cas replied.

Dean's heart was singing, Cas was giving himself to him. Dean slowly turned Cas over, a bit hesitant and unsure. His fingers making the necessary adjustments needed as Cas moaned. He slid inside him, making the angel lose all control with a scream of pleasure. Dean hadn't even began to move and felt like he was going to lose it. Taking a breath he began to move, with each thrust making Cas fall deeper into the abyss. Dean reached around grabbed Cas's cock and began to go to work, matching the rhythm of each thrust. Soon they both were overflowing with delight and with a loud moan of each other's name they crashed. The aftermath lasted a good five minutes, both trying to catch there breathes. Dean had slid onto the bed next to Cas. Almost automatically they reached for each other and Cas was soon tucked under Dean's chin. Cas felt a shutter, and looked up to see tears streaming down his hunters face. "Are you ok?" Cas asked as he thumbed the tears away. Dean shook his head yes and just held Cas closer. There were no words to describe the scene of beauty, and overwhelming emotion that just took place.


	12. Chapter 11

A/N: As I was writing this chapter I realized I have Bobby still alive…oops…well it is my fanfic and what can I say I love Bobby.

Chapter 11

Savoring the time left

Dean woke to the sound of Cas snoring. He let out a slight chuckle, surprised that angels even snored. He turned his head to look at the clock on the bedside table it was pretty late in the day. He was surprised no one had bothered to wake him up considering they were supposed to get back on the road today.

Cas began to stir and Dean's heart almost burst at the cuteness before him. Cas's messy hair along with his bright blue eyes, fighting away the sleepys. "Good morning, sleepy head." Dean said while smiling. Cas yawned "Dean, I must have been exhausted I didn't even sense that you were awake yet." Dean smiled while he placed a sweet kiss onto Cas's lips, he smiled as he looked up into those to perfect green eyes. Cas turned his head to notice the sun blazing in from the window. "What time is it? I thought you were leaving today?" Cas asked. "Eh…I guess we partied to hard last night ha-ha." Dean said chuckling. He gave Cas one last squeeze and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. "Make yourself at home, I am gonna take a quick shower." Dean said flashing a grin.

Now normally Cas wouldn't have pressed his luck but the looming end to the moments with Dean where upon them. He made sure Dean was all the way in the shower and then he quietly opened the door, snickering as he realized Dean was singing Eye of the Tiger. He stripped his boxers off and grabbed the shower curtain. Dean turned around in shock but smiled when he realized it was Cas. "So…uh I thought you might want some company." Cas said blushingly. "Ha Ha I love you." Dean replied. The water felt good on Cas's skin.

He needed to make a move though knowing this could be his only chance to take Dean. He wanted Dean to let go and give him everything. Cas took control crashing his mouth into Dean's causing a moan to escape Dean's glorious lips. Cas put his hands into Dean's wet hair, pulling slightly as he slowly moved down Dean's neck, causing shivers to emit from the hunter. "Dean, I want you. I want to take you this time." Cas growled. Dean looked at Cas with wide eyes, he didn't know if he could be that vulnerable. "Dean, I love you more than anything, and I would never hurt you. I need you to know even at your most vulnerable times I will be there." Cas said with seriousness in his eyes. Dean took a deep breath as he admitted to Cas that he was scared. Cas took him into a passionate kiss as he said "Trust me." Dean nodded not able to form words as Cas made his way down his body.

It wasn't long before they both were painfully hard. Cas knew once he was inside he wouldn't last long, but the sheer delight from knowing he had taken Dean and that he was his made him that more eager. He had learned from the other night what exactly to do and he made absolutely sure that Dean was ready before he continued anything. Dean couldn't lie to himself he liked being dominated by Cas. Cas slide inside, and to Dean's surprise a scream escaped his lips. The world spinned for both of them as they continued into the spiral of pleasure.

Soon they were both spent and cold, just realizing all the hot water was gone. They both cleaned up and got out the shower. Dean almost falling on his ass, having been weak in the knees. They both laughed as they got dressed. Dean cupped Cas's face, looked into those fantastic blue eyes and said "I will never love anyone like you. I will never be as open with anyone but you. You complete me, Cas." Cas had no words as a tear trickled down his face.

They hugged for a while, only stopping because there was a knock on the door. Which made Cas jump, he had forgot that they weren't alone in the house. Dean chuckled at him as he pulled on a pair of pants. "Get dressed silly face." He said heading out the bathroom towards the door. Dean opened the door to see a very grumpy Sammy. "Rough night?" Dean asked. "Yea yea…my head is killing me! Also if you notice we will be leaving bright and early tomorrow, I figured it would be best for all of us. And no drinking tonight!" Sam said sternly. "When did you get all responsible?" Dean asked through laughter. "Oh shut up." He said noticing movement in the bathroom.

"Oh yea…so uh how did things go last night…you guys were pretty smashed and don't lie to me Dean." He whispered. Dean tried to find the words to describe how last night and this morning had been but he couldn't. So he just smiled wide at Sam. Of course them being brothers, Sam didn't need any details he could just tell by Dean's mannerisms that he had an amazing night. "Well, I am happy for you but you know that he won't be able to come with us. He is still out of it and I don't want us to put him in anymore danger." Dean said sympathetically. Dean sighed "I know." At that Cas emerged from the bathroom waving at Sam. "Well I am gonna go lay down and see if I can get this headache to go away. Tomorrow Dean bright and early." Sam said as he walked out the room. Cas walked over to Dean catching the sadness in his eyes. "You okay?" he asked worriedly. "Yea…just not looking forward to leaving you." Dean said sadly. Cas didn't know how to respond so he just wrapped his arms around Dean. The day went by faster than anyone wanted. They spent most of it hanging out with Bobby and Sam as well as getting everything ready for the next day.

As night fell the mood turned somber knowing they had an awful journey ahead of them. It was getting late and Cas knew Dean would need sleep tonight…good sleep. He suggested Dean should probably go to bed a bit after Sammy had turned in. Dean just nodded and followed Cas up to their room. They did their usual nighttime things like brush their teeth in silence. Cas turned out the light as Dean began pulling back the covers, they both settled in bed. Dean turned to Cas and as he looked into those blue eyes he began to cry. "Don't Dean." Cas whispered. "I will always be with you; even though you don't see it my hand print is still here, except now it's on your heart." Now they were both crying and Dean had no idea how he was going to leave Cas tomorrow, maybe he couldn't. They cuddled up, as Cas rubbed Dean's back soothingly. Soon his hunter was fast asleep and for this night at least he would sleep the whole night with dreams of his angel.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The End

Dean woke to the sound of Sammy knocking on the door and yelling "Dean get your ass up." Dean groaned as he rolled over noticing the empty space next to him. In Cas's spot there was a black rose and a letter that read:

_Dear Dean,_

_I am sorry I left like this but I knew it would be too painful to say goodbye in person. Meg has returned and she will be taking me back to the hospital. I wish I could stay with you forever but it's not safe for you or me. I would just be a burden on you and Sam, and I know that I've been fine around you but I am still unstable. I know that you will fix me; I know you will find a way. Dean…you are the love of my life and the moments we've shared the past few days will be with me always. Be safe my love._

_Your black rose_

_Cas_

Dean cried as he read the letter, knowing exactly why Cas choose a black rose, because he was Dean's beautiful mess, his beautiful dark mess.


End file.
